Partner Buys Expensive Skin Care You Cant Afford. Carolyn Hax Readers Give Advice.

Partner Buys Expensive Skin Care You Cant Afford. Carolyn Hax Readers Give Advice.

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We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hucks and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below.

Dear Caroline ! My partner spends about $400 a month on expensive face and body products. We're talking $70 for a 2.5oz bottle of this type of oil, cleanser, etc. Of course, there are people who can buy these products and buy them regularly. There are people who can afford it, but choose cheap products. There are those who cannot buy these products, but buy them anyway. We belong to the latter category.

I brought it up two or three times, my partner made comments about the pressure on women and the objectification of women. Of course he is right. I couldn't understand what it meant to be a woman in our society. That's still a lot of money. In the meantime, I bought a pair of Uniqlo jeans and wore them like crazy.

She really looks like she can't afford such luxuries (some of her skin care expenses can go on vacations for us and our two young kids who don't have enough money). The question to mention this is prohibited. He speaks like a woman, so I have nothing to say. I need a fresh perspective. What do you suggest?

Also , during quiet times, discuss finances, not cosmetics. Discuss your family budget, retirement plans, vacation hopes, and enrichment (art, music, sports?) for your children. In this discussion, include reasonable expenses as the big picture and see if you can each agree on what is reasonable.

You can also consult a financial advisor (are you ready to help your children?) This is a business discussion, not an opinion on discretionary spending. Opening three bank accounts can help: one for household expenses such as mortgage, insurance, utilities and food; And for each of you to understand means that you agree to ask. You may want to check that there are different credit cards in your name and not joint cards.

When you see exactly how much money your spouse has to spend because it's in a separate account and not confused by what seems like a lot, you'll know how to budget for credit or debt. Map

Too much : turns the conversation into a funny but true statement. There are many ways women can take care of themselves without spending $400 a month on skin care. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising and not smoking are high on the list.

Plus, there are many other great drugstore and skin care brands that won't break the bank. Do your research and try to have a different conversation. Acknowledge her point of view and turn the conversation into a collaboration to understand why she believes these skin care products are the only solution to the problem.

Too Much : As a sleep-deprived mom of two toddlers, my life and the lives of my mom friends have a little something special for us. Self-care is often out of bounds, and is simply a lost emotion.

It's like giving your wife just a few minutes a day to feel pampered with luxurious skincare and free up some space. Applying a stylish lotion is incredibly refreshing and, as an added bonus, keeps us looking fresh in a world where our social and professional success is directly linked to our appearance.

He set his firm bounds, and I stopped before approaching him again; Would it change the way you look at your ability to pay if you believe that the cost is based on the physical and mental health of the person rather than the collection of products?

If you still think it's too much, I think you should take the time to discuss your budget and priorities. Accept and respect that this is a big deal to him, and then decide together what your financial goals are instead of agreeing on him. If vacation is important to you, you can cut back on other things like travel and skin care. Otherwise, you can replace the product with a more generic one, because you will save money on the trip. But... be careful and avoid the dynamics that work against you when discussing costs.

Each week we ask readers to answer a question submitted to Carolyn Hucks via live chat or email. Read last week's episode here . New questions are posted every Friday and the due date is Monday. Responses are anonymous unless you choose to name yourself and are edited for length and clarity.

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